After the electricity is back, i can post what i have written earlier on Eid El Fitr ~ Batoul Issa
Being a mother in Gaza Being a mother in Gaza is so terrific. Only mums will understand what I’m saying. When your child gets a fever, had a bad cough, u wont sleep the whole night sitting beside him trying to take the pain away from him.
You will never imagine what kind of life a mother of four children lives in Gaza war like. This is the minimum number of children women would have here. Since the fascist attack began on Gaza, my eyes haven’t close down in the nights. Surrounding me my children are sleeping. But I spend the whole night thinking what I’m going to do when the bomb fires down over my house. Many tapes run in front of my sight. I ask myself what if the wall crashes down on some of my kids. Am I going to leave them to save the others or will I prefer to die all together ?
What if the wall crashes down on my lower half and got paralyzed, I call my eldest son loudly through the smoke ‘’get your brothers out , don’t care about me, just get them out and promise me u will take care of them’’. How are they going to manage escaping from the house alone? They are so little.. Their biggest is 10 yrs. Why should he take the responsibility very early age?
What if the whole house crashes down over their small bodies? And I can hear their shouts ‘’mum, get us out’’ while I won’t be able to reach their little hands… Are they going to die straight away or how many days they are going to stay beneath the broken remains.
How could i sleep and every time I put my tired body down on the mattress, I remember the views of Shojaaeyya after the whole destroys. One day only, the whole region with its streets, buildings, people all have been flattened and pulled down to the ground. How shall I sleep while the sounds of cannonballs go on and on? The sky every other minute lights white and red. Helicopters, war planes, fighters awake my ears .eyes, mind and my whole body.
The first day of our feast holy Eid El Fitr was yesterday Monday. To me it was like the most horrible terrific day in Gaza city since this attack began. An Israeli plane targeted a group of children who were trying to forget their fears and have some fun like any other child in the world would do. How could i sleep that night and I can’t forget the view of so small innocent bodies torn apart getting the whole area full of sadness, fear and horror. I wonder what could happen to me if one of my sons was one of these children!
You will never imagine how life is here. I swear you will never imagine. And I swear that if what is happening here was a movie, you won’t stand continue watching and you will press the off button in your remote control. But you know what? even if you do, the movie will never stop.
the difference is that the actors never take breaks, the blood is not false, the wounds are not cosmetics. The killed innocent civilians are real heroes, not stunt actors. They won’t go home after the scene finishes. It is going on, the reality of killing innocent women, children, elderly people and civilians will never stop. I have no politics, but what I have is a heart of a true mother and every woman here does. And what I’m sure of is that Gaza is alone! Gaza is alone!